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Old 02-25-2014, 01:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
trapper
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West of Lansing
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Default Types of People You See on the Mountain

My buddy and I have a habit of watching people while on the chairlift and trying to come up with names for the different types of riders/skiers you see on the hill. We're not really that funny, but we like to think we are. Plus it passes the time well. Here are some we've come up with.

Gaper Nukes - First-time, fearless skiers who have no business off the bunny slope. They don't know how to turn or stop other than falling over and simply straight line any hill they encounter. Including blacks. They are a danger to everyone on the hill.

Rocket Noobs - Same as Gaper Nuke only snowboarding version. Got hit by one just the other day.

Meat Rockets - Tiny kid versions of Gaper Nukes or Rocket Noobs, still dangerous but because of the smaller mass they are much less so.

Napoleon Dynamites - These are noobs either on skis or snowboards that are mostly just a danger to themselves and not others. Identified by slow awkward movements and flailing arms.

Gangsta Skier Zombies (GSZs) - Usually very tall, lanky teenage males with oversized pants and sweatshirts who always wear mirrored goggles and wear their helmets tipped back. Never use poles. Float around emotionless. Sometimes they will hit a rail but only with the least amount of effort possible. They never look at anyone or speak, even their friends.

GWs or Gypsy Wanderers - Low-intermediate or advanced beginner skiers that take a path down the hill with complete randomness, typically utilizing the entire width of the slope. Is completely oblivious to surroundings. Usually is a female aged 30-60 but examples are found in other demographic categories. An example path they might take down (across) the slope: right turn, right turn, right turn, left turn, right turn, sudden stop, look at you as if you see you, turn directly into your path at last minute, etc...

Skier Dads/Moms - Everyone knows who these assholes are.

Potentially Combustible Family Unit (PCFUs) - Usually led by Skier Dad or Mom (but not always), these groups can range in size from 4 up to 12 and encompass a variety of ages and skill levels. Give them a very wide berth.

It's all in good fun...anyone else do this at all?
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Last edited by trapper; 02-25-2014 at 01:17 PM.
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