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Old 04-01-2010, 02:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
jitpunkia's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 59
Default Shrediquette

Transworld's Shred + etiquette = Shrediquette. Itís rules to ride by. Itís the snowboarderís cultural guidebook.

Rule 1: Never call last run.

Rule 2: A speed check is still a speed check, even if you call it a setup turn.

Rule 3: More flair = less ability.

Rule 4: Only news anchors use the nickname ďFlying Tomato.Ē

Rule 5: You can always go faster.

Rule 6: Your board and shoulder should never make contact on the walk to the slopes.

Rule 7: ďDropping nextĒ only goes one rider deepĖthere is no ďdropping after next.Ē

Rule 8: One pair of long johns per season is perfectly acceptable. Not washing that pair is not.

Rule 9: All sports by definition are action sports.

Rule 10: Dropping names dilutes your slope cred by 50 percent.

Rule 11: Self-respecting snowboarders never refer to themselves or snowboarding as ďextreme.Ē

Rule 12: Snow reports are always measured where the snowdrifts are the deepest.

Rule 13: Always subtract two inches for every six reported on a resortís snow phone.

Rule 14: Itís never cool to one-up your homey.

Rule 15: Donít steal from snowboarders.

Rule 16: Thereís a fine line between being really funny and really annoying in the liftline.

Rule 17: Getting slashed is good luck, so donít get bummed.

Rule 18: Going snowboarding on opening day regardless of the conditions will increase your odds of scoring powder that season.

Rule 19: Every shop has at least one guy thatíll vibe the shit out of you.

Rule 20: If you didnít help build it, donít hit it.

Rule 21: Hike. Itíll always be worth it.

Rule 22: Keep your first-chair accomplishments to yourself.

Rule 23: Never say youíre sick of powder.

Rule 24: Riding in the rain is always more fun than it sounds.

Rule 25: Donít feel embarrassed about dressing up in all your gear in your bedroom in August.

Rule 26: Only piss off of the chairlift if youíre riding up alone.

Rule 27: Never ride in the trees without gogglesĖstick in eyeball, not fun.

Rule 28: Donít let the waxing iron smoke.

Rule 29: Always pick up hitchhikers carrying snowboards.

Rule 30: Scraping wax off your board and onto the snow is bad. Wax off into the trash.

Rule 31: If it hurts to walk, donít go ride.

Rule 32: Ignorance to snowboard fashion is a virtue.

Rule 33: Be cool to the groms, soon they will school you.

Rule 34: Donít lean on the shovel, dig?

Rule 35: Remember-man strength sets in at 30. You ainít done yet.

Rule 36: Have some dignity: ollie the ďSlowĒ sign only if you know you can clear it.

Rule 37: Youíll never regret taking one more run, unless you actually call ďlast run.Ē

Rule 38: If youíre hooked up, hook up your homeys.

Rule 39: Bitter localism is for surfers. Ride past the tourists with your mouth shut.

Rule 40: Excuses are for the unoriginal. A spot isnít played until every last trick has been done there. Keep at it.

Rule 41: If you borrow a friendís board, donít change the stance.

Rule 42: If Ski Patrol chases you, donít get caught.

Rule 43: If Ski Patrol catches you, act sorry.

Rule 44: A snowboard lesson is the greatest gift one can give a newcomer.

Rule 45: Donít smash skulls with the safety bar on the lift. Call it first.

Rule 46: Focus on the goal. For example, only stand in the liftline if you want to get on the lift.

Rule 47: Wearing your shred gear in the bar past midnight will increase your Core Score.

Rule 48: However, Core Score points will be deducted for wearing just your goggles.

Rule 49: Locals, donít hateĖthe tourists leave lots of money where you live.

Rule 50: Donít bite. Be your own snowboarder. Imitation is flattering, but everyone will be more impressed if youíve got your own style.

Rule 51: Donít post your sponsor-me videos online and then cry when it gets bagged on.

Rule 52: If you hear someone say, ďDropping!Ē pretend you didnít hear and go.

Rule 53: Nobody else on the tram cares what happened to you last night.

Rule 54: Littering on the hill is asking for the slam of your life.

Rule 55: Donít hit up a shop employee for advice and then buy it online.

Rule 56: Support your local snowboard shop. Itís more important now than ever.

Rule 57: If you see a pro rider on the hill, donít ask them to give you something.

Rule 58: Never hit the big jump first run.

Rule 59:Wait for pedestrians using the stairs and handrails to pass, then drop in.

Rule 60: Your opinion on helmets only matters if youíre wearing one

Rule 61: Simply scraping your board sideways is not turning.

Rule 62: Leave tissue at the lift line. Save a tree and blow snot rockets instead.

Rule 63: Snake and be snaked.

Rule 64: Tindy and tailfish donít count. Get a grip.

Rule 65: Know your limits: backing down from a jump or hit is wisdom, not cowardice.
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