Lots of mormons here. Scary place to live. We also have a nasty inversion where you can only see 10 feet in front of your face, super gross. Go Boulder
Boulder is full of sodomites! Utah isn't. That right there is reason enough to go there. OH and Boulder likes to catch fire and cause evacuations regularly. Utah doesn't. Also go to Utah and get a Brighton pass you won't regret it.
I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Colorado.
This thread is cracking me up. Sorry OP but it looks like you're going to get very little "real" advice on this one. I tried...