A Pole, a Soviet, an American, an Englishman and a Canadian were lost
in a forest in the dead of winter. As they were sitting around a fire, they
noticed a pack of wolves eyeing them hungrily.
The Englishman volunteered to sacrifice himself for the rest of the
party. He walked out into the night.
The American, not wanting to be outdone by an Englishman, offered to
be the next victim. The wolves eagerly accepted his offer, and devoured him,
The Soviet, believing himself to be better than any American, turned
to the Pole and says, "Well, comrade, I shall volunteer to give my life to
save a fellow socialist." He leaves the shelter and goes out to be killed by
the wolf pack.
At this point, the Pole opened his jacket and pulls out a machine gun.
He takes aim in the general direction of the wolf pack and in a few seconds
has killed them all.
The Canadian asked the Pole, "Why didn't you do that before the others
went out to be killed?
The Pole pulls a bottle of vodka from the other side of his jacket.
He smiles and replies, "Five men on one bottle -- too many."
I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."
-- Rodney Dangerfield.