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Old 06-05-2012, 02:38 AM   #9 (permalink)
BurtonAvenger
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mountains
Posts: 9,785
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^ These are all wrong decisions. College will always be there youth won't we're all gonna die some time might as well bang it out now before you're an old crusty bastard in a ski town getting drunk at 3 in the afternoon talking about the good ole days.

The fabled myth of ride all day, party all night in a ski town is a joke if you fall sucker to the pitfalls of being a snow carnie. Yes instructors are snow carnies and should always be noted as that. And for the record I have no respect for instructors and view them only slightly higher than mountain safety but somewhere below cafeteria dish washer.

Breck is a great town I love it, you love it, and the tourists love it. Remember this about any job here, you are here solely to serve the tourists your job is dependent on their money. Regardless of what you think you will not be a local until you get to the point that you don't even care that you live here or that you have banged every girl at least 4 times and contracted no less than seven STD's. Only then will you officially be a local. Losing bodily organs can be substituted for STD's.

Key jobs for letting you ride all the time. Dishwasher, food delivery, server, bar tender, night auditor, night stocker, snowboard shop, off mountain rental shop, anything with a split shift or afternoon shift, man slut, backseat skier, cougar tamer. In Breck high end waiting jobs are coveted but you can find ones at some of the more touristy places that have high turn over. Do not bother applying to Downstairs at Erics unless you have a vagina. Get here right at the start of September to secure a good job/housing.

Housing is another key important factor if you do not have a car you will be on the bus system which is awesome although always 5 to 15 minutes late at any given time. Remember this it's Summit County time. If you have a car parking sucks and you will need to learn how to become a fucking ninja of stealing parking spots or just take the fucking bus. But back to housing it's a lot like joining the army in terms of roommates, you'll meet people from all walks of life and most of them will seem stupid to you. Do not adopt a dog because you think you're cool, chances are it's one of the same 7 dogs that gets adopted then ends up back at the shelter at the end of the season. Do not live with women and if I have to go into detail about this you are already a lost cause and should proceed to smoke meth now while driving drunk and getting a suck off from some poor dude from Keystone. Blue River is not Breckenridge, no matter how close to town they tell you it is. Peak 7 is the fucking boondocks and you could die waiting for a search party to find you out there. If potential new roommate tells you, "I have some friends crashing on the couch they're chipping in on rent" read this as they will freeload off you and your rent will never decrease all while having your shit abused more than one of the 10 lifty chicks that lives in staff housings vagina.

Contrary to popular belief Breckenridge is not Amsterdam as much as people believe weed is legal here. We do have a few dispensaries and town law states that it's officers discretion on whether or not to prosecute if you have an ounce or less on you. County law supercedes town law and state law supercedes that followed by federal. It's decriminalized not legal, don't be stupid.

If you do work for the mountain make the right choices in terms of jobs. Lifty's do not ride, instructors are day care, food service means you're a slave, shuttle drivers are fat and cranky, day cleaners don't speak English, park crew is coveted, cat driver means you drink a lot, which means night jobs are the best bet i.e. night cleaning.

If you're not working for the mountain buy your pass. Regardless of if one of the jobs in town offers you it as an incentive buy it yourself. Then if you want to play hooky and go shred they can't call the pass office and have it turned off on you. Yes this does happen if you let it. Do not ever give an employer a chance to be your dark overlord masters.

Since you are 19 you can not get into any of the bars legally, get a good fake ID. Tip well, don't be a douche, and if a girl tells you she's 21 assume she's 18. If she tells you she's a 20 something figure she's a cougar and her vagina is more busted than the Delorean at the end of Back to the Future 3. If house parties are you thing do not party with the high school sluts from Summit High they are trouble and you will get one pregnant. You think I'm joking but those bitches are in heat.

Keystone has herpes it's the rumor year after year and it's true that is all you need to know about that.

This is how you live in summit county.
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