After watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient
earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several
minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
"No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a
name for my baby."
"But the hospital supplies a special booklet that lists hundreds
of first names and their meanings," said the orderly.
"That won't help," said the woman, "my baby already has a first
Coffee is your friend. Everyone else is an acquaintance.