I'm a lyricist too, but I wouldn't post a video of myself rapping into a webcam. That's just asking for hate.
To critique your actual lyricism, you aren't bad at all. Multi-syllable rhymes and decent metaphors. Try to add more word-play if you are inspired by Em.
The one thing I dislike about your rhymes is your cadence. You do go with the beat, but it sounds like you have no heart. You have a sleepy style and it just doesn't work.
Put some more intensity behind your rapping. The lyrics just don't match up with the cadence.
Well, that's my honest two cents.
Is that a suggestion?
Not inspired by Eminem AT ALL. The Mighty Mos Def, Nas, Common, Guru, RZA, all very big sources of inspiration for me.
Thanks, I appreciate CC.