Maybe he does and Sidehits? Ground Tricks?
Also, OP not to gang up on you, but saying you don't like a board after riding it on the carpet is asking for it.
Try Arbor's parabolic rocker. (Blacklist/Westmark)
Yes' camrock, there's not a lot of camber in it, I wanted there to be, but it really does ride pretty similarly to the Green Machine I got to use last year. (Trouble/Greats)
Or.....maybe just keep the board. You may end up liking it.