From my perspective its Stowe then Jay. Both are great but certainly have a different vibe. Terrain wise, I know Stowe a bit better, but think with both you are getting the best VT offers and probably the east form my experience (including the maine/NH resorts ive ridden).
While you may not be looking for nightlife, you have something going on at Stowe. Apres at the Matterhorn is a great time and the Rusty Nail is a real solid spot... miss The Shed. Jay, well not so much.. though they have the waterpark now.
I have never ridden Smuggs but have heard good things.