•I'm not sure I want the total winter climate. I want a decent growing season for a veggie garden, and maybe a pet goat. Out side of snowboarding my other hobby is road biking. I like to do it year round if I can. Tho I guess I could switch to year round mountain bike.
Carson City is not exactly lush with greenery or known for it's "growing season" (or it's pet goats), so if this is a big priority of yours, do not live in Tahoe or Carson City. Neither climate is ideal.
However, Tahoe is HEAVEN for road bikers. Do a bit of research and you'll find out just how popular the entire Tahoe basin is for all manner of bike enthusiasts.
•I would like the option to take classes at UNR, and carson city is in the middle.
If you live in North Tahoe (Truckee, Tahoe City, a few other places) you're closer to Reno (and specifically UNR) than you would be in Carson City, and it's pretty much a straight shot down the highway. Carson City is still a good 30-45 mins from UNR, so you actually wouldn't be as close as you might think.
•high speed data? How wide are the intertubez in Tahoe? I know in mammoth they are small itty bitty tubez. I need a fat pipeline if you know what I mean.
Fast, solid interwebz in Tahoe (at least in South Lake, where I lived). Rumor has it Al Gore built these tubes himself, in the middle of a blizzard, then 50-50'd them. True story.
I'm doing a road trip in january, I'm actually planning it now.
as far as minden etc...I hate children so Im not interested in a family community.
Minden and Gardnerville are smaller, shittier versions of Carson City, and fast access to Tahoe (think 20-25minutes) is available only when Kingsbury Grade is open. Again, any major storm will back traffic up to a standstill, or close it down entirely... basically, you're right to skip the idea of Minden or G-ville.
As far as the rest of it goes, it sounds like you're going to have to prioritize. To state the obvious: Tahoe and Carson are not LA, do not have as many conveniences or luxuries, and the weather is very different. You're not going to get everything you want anywhere in the country, so decide what's most important to you.