What it comes down to is a basic choice of opinion:
a) I find gun crime to be an acceptable inevitable consequence of the having firearms in circulation
b) I do not find gun crime to be a acceptable inevitable consequence of having firearms in circulation.
Because for all the arguments it really comes down to that. For all the wishful thinking in the world, and for every 'safely' owned gun out there, you just can't have it both ways i'm afraid.
Personally, I'd add a 3rd choice.
3) what level of gun violence is acceptable in a 1st world society?
I would agree that zero is an unrealistic answer.
That said, with a legal gun ownership rate of 9 guns per 10 Americans and a gun violence rate of nearly triple the second leading developed country, it is painfully obvious that the claimed deterrent effect of having an widely armed population has never materialized.