While this thread is full of some of the most hilarious responses I've seen, there are excellent (serious) points.
Try snowboarding first before you make a life changing decision. Hopefully you'll love it as we all do. Visit UT if you haven't already. Feel it out and see if it's the place for you.
I commend you for three things:
Thank you for serving our country.
It's admirable that you're looking to change your life's path in a direction of (potentially) a passion.
Thank you for posting your naive and honest questions, as it really brought a lot of humor! I'm serious.
Oh and a fourth. Good job on getting through the shit that landed you where you are today. It doesn't sound like you let it get the best of you.
Good luck on whatever you choose to do.