"High Capacity Assault Snowboard"
This is my new "High Capacity Assault Snowboard". At 171cm long and 28.4cm wide, this "Assault Snowboard" can easily hold 840 rounds of 5.56mm ammunition. The same ammunition used by the military! Please insist that your state's representatives vote to ban "Assault Snowboards". No civilian should have access to this kind of shred power.
But seriously, this board is gigantic. Can't wait to try it out tomorrow