I completely understand, which is why I felt compelled to post this. I am notorious for putting unnecessary pressure on myself and have to sometimes stop and chill out and deliberately tell myself to relax and have fun. Fortunately, that's easy to do with this sport because it's such a goddamn good time.
For what it's worth, when I try to handle steeps (which I am a novice at), I find that simply side-slipping makes it manageable to deal with, especially if you're having a hard time just getting up the nerve to go down it. But that gets boring and I usually find the most success when I simply lean down the hill and turn like I do on blues, just more aggressively. Mentally, it's tough to do since your instinct is to be more cautious; that is exactly where I struggle as well.
Edit: I too am in my early 30's with three small kids and am a fairly new rider. There is a certain amount of cautiousness that impedes my riding to an extent as a result of this. But whatever, it's a shit ton of fun!
ya that's why I quit DH skateboarding, I'm a dad now and couldn't justify it anymore