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feelin rich...

Posted 06-27-2012 at 03:53 PM by tooscoops

so this morning i felt like a millionaire... i opened a new toothbrush.

just something about that new toothbrush feeling. not only do my teeth get all scrubbed just that little bit better, but i don't feel like i'm putting something gross in my mouth from my drawer filled with old lotions, expired condoms, empty deodorant containers and the occasional (formerly) hard candy.

ahhh that clean mouth feeling. if i was rich, i would get a new toothbrush each week, if not more often.

to add to that rich feeling i was having, i opened a new pair of socks. wow. so soft. so evenly padded and supportive. so complete without even a single solitary little hole. again... must be how rich people feel. my socks would be disposable. now, i would donate them to poor people after, but for rich imaginary me? only new will do.

now, i thought my day in the life of a millionaire was over... then i took a crap. uh oh, bad luck, out of toilet paper!!

what do you know. my rich day continued. there was a box of kleenex right beside me. and not just regular, but lotion added, cottony soft kleenex. mmmmmmm... the softness that my butt deserves. once my ticket wins the lottery, i can tell you, no more toilet paper for this guy.

hell, now i can't wait till the kleenex runs out so i can use a washcloth. now THATs rich.

.. as long as someone else washes it.
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