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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 11:00 AM
N~R~G
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One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and the preacher asked what part of the body went to heaven first. Susie said your heart, 'cause you need it to love. Richie said your head, 'cause you need it to think. Little Danny raised his hand and the pastor called on him reluctantly. Danny said, "Your feet." Confused, the pastor asked why. Danny replied, "I was walking past my mom's room last night and she had her feet in the air and then she screamed, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 11:01 AM
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 11:04 AM
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here one for carm...

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient." "Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."
post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 12:01 PM
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Q: Why did cavemen pull their women around by the hair?
A: Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with
mud.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 02:28 PM
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The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies

Come and listen to my story about a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems that one night after gettin' with the wife,
She loped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.
Clean cut.
Missed his nuts.

Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
And she tossed him out the window as she came around a bend.

Curve, that is.
Tossed the nub.
In the shrub.

She went to the law and confessed to the attack.
And they called out the dogs just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "Over there".
To John Wayne's Willie - a wavin' in the air.

Found that is.
By a fence.
Evidence.

Now John and his Willie couldn't stay apart long.
So a dick doctor said, "Oh yea, I can fix your dong!"
"A needle and thread is all we're gonna need,"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed.

Wizzed that is.
Straight stream.
Even seam.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court.
He had a half-assed lawyer, cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault, and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

Video that is.
Unexposed.
Case closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-03-2008, 03:13 PM
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Q. How many corny jokes does it take to drive someone to suicide?
A. I don't know but we're getting pretty close.

I have a word limit on my cynicism
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-04-2008, 07:16 AM
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They're more into fresh buns and cream of someyoungboy soup.

I have a word limit on my cynicism
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-04-2008, 07:43 AM
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or maybe a poo poo platter?

Passion Over Fashion
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-04-2008, 01:41 PM
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That's just uncalled for TJ

I have a word limit on my cynicism
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