R.I.P. Amanda Todd - Page 2 - Snowboarding Forum - Snowboard Enthusiast Forums
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post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-14-2012, 09:15 AM
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post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-14-2012, 09:37 AM
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Did this shit happen when you needed a college e-mail address to get on Facebook? I remember when it became available to kids under 18 and even back then I was like BAD IDEA. Kids are so damn awful straight to your face, let alone in a passive aggressive "post it on FB" kind of way. What I don't get, is HOW THE FUCK COULD 12 KIDS WALK IN ON THIS POOR GIRL AND CALL HER OUT?!?! At my school you had to be buzzed in the door and sign in before you were buzzed into a second door into the school.

I have to say though, some parents just don't even know how to deal with this internet shit. It is so foreign to them. Not to mention she seemed to be living in a broken home with her dad. I think every conversation my dad ever had with my sister between the ages of 13 and 20 ended with her screaming "STFU" or something along those lines. She would never talk to him about how she felt, what was going on or ANYTHING. He would try, but she would just freak like a fucking tasmanian devil on his ass. How do you help your daughter when she is so dark all the time that even a simple "how was school?" gets you a "Whatever" or "It doesn't fucking matter..." She (my sis) used to cut herself too. It was a long phase, and she is all better now, but I can't attribute that to anything my parents specifically did. If they tried any harder, she probably would have freaked out and ran away from home.

I know we don't know Amanda Todd's relationship with the parents, or if they even tried, but I can't even imagine how they would feel if they really tried to help, tried to talk it out, tried to get information out of her and she just brick-walled them every time. I'm not saying that happened, but it is possible.
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post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-14-2012, 09:37 AM
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My wife and I discussed this with our kids at length.

What is different here is not the bullying but in today's electronic age it doesn't stop. When I was a kid and I was small for my age I got bullied but when you got home it stopped. There was no email, no texts, no facebook. You got a break from the pressure to try to regroup so to say.

In today's world the pressure is always on. He texts this to a buddy at a school 2 cities away and there it is again. Back then if you moved it was almost like a clean start. With the FB and easy access to background and internet searches this has become common place for people. It can be much harder in todays age to be a kid then when I was that age. Now Im dealing with protecting my kids from stuff like this as well

It is sad and for this one case there are thousands more on the brink of becoming this. So hope this doesn't become a trend.
Prayers to her family and friends...

-I'm Slyder and I suffer from "Gummer Syndrome"
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post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-14-2012, 11:57 AM
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Imho, the parent kid thing needs to happen before birth and the teenage years can be hellish. But here's an easy guideline for development.

First, 7 years, 0-7, kid get their core sense of self and the world around them via their family...family is the biggest influence of how a kid comes to view them self. Thus depending on the family environment...you can guess the rest. Internet and smart phone is the newest flavor....but its basics, do your chores, feed the cat, clean your room, read a book before you get on the webz for a limited time and web space.

Second, 7 years, 7-14, kid gets socialized and figures out group norming, expected behavior. Peer group is the biggest influence...kids live up to or down to their peer group. Thus parents need to attend and guide this...people...church youth group, scouts, organized sports or is it alley thugs. Kids got to do some teamwork, community involvement...like mowing the elderly neighbors yard...for Free.

Third, 7 years, 14-21, kid gets to learn how to figure it out, which involves them asking themself who am I, what is my passion(s) and how am I going to make it happen. Parents sets up opportunities for learning as a gradual progression....just like in snowboarding. You don't send your kid down a triple black chute on day one. As a parent of a kid this age, you can't really tell them shit and perhaps all you can tell them is that you love them and you believe they can do it and figure it out. They are smart and hopefully you have provide the earlier opportunities and environment and they have some self respect and worth. So instead of telling them what to do or not to do. They want to do things on their own...and you say great. How are you going to do that....what's the plan, how you going to earn the money, how you going to get there, when are you going to be back home....mind you this is a gradual progression. In essence you are getting them to critically think and take responsibility for themselves. Do not do it for them...they will yell and scream that you don't care....but later, they will be proud of them self for doing it themselves...and say fuck you dad for not helping (but you just say I knew you could do it). But then, much more later they will thank you for your wisdom and they will be capable young adults. One of the big things as a parent is not to be too reactive to their shit...and just to be calm, give clear expectations, parameters and clear consistent consequences....which is often the "school of natural consequences" and asking what did you learn from that...or is that working for you?

Ya all are fine folks and I'm preaching to the choir, our family has taken in a few of the kids friends over the years and other families have done with ours. Often times its just stopping and listening a the kid's story with out judgment or criticism and that is a real gift of being human.

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post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-14-2012, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted by davidj View Post
Deeply saddened by the horrible mental torture and isolation the kid went through, not to mention the loss of life.

@2hipp4u, you blame the parents? Why?
I think Wrath summed it up best, but it seems obvious to me that her parents did a very poor job of helping her through this.

You cant prevent kids from doing wrong or stupid things, but you can give them the the tools and framework to deal with whatever life throws at you.

I have five kids and its the hardest fucking job in the world to try and raise them right. Me and my wife have made a lot of mistakes as there is no owners manual on how to do it right, but you never give up and you fight for them with all you have.
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post #16 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-16-2012, 03:44 AM
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This was local news for me as well and it is a very sad tragedy. I can not even fathom how the parents are feeling.

The disgust I have for the media/social media and humanity is only growing stronger every time I come across a story such as this. This tragedy seems to have become overtly sensationalized and has become the popular thing to "like" on facebook.There is this weird sense that the problem will get fixed due to the awareness of "liking" the page. It has almost sullied the nice memorial it was set up to be. This hurt, young woman had to take her own life before anyone would listen and take her seriously yet here is almost a million people giving their condolences.Not to be an ass and take away from her but my question is: where the hell was all of this for all the other young casualties of bullying in the past and present? This is sadly not a new occurrence and unfortunately will not be the last as much I wish that wasn't the case. Apologies for coming across a bit rash.

I am all for people raising awareness on this issue though I don't believe this is the way. The internet has opened doors to some very cruel ways of harming others and I am not sure the young people are quite aware of the ramifications of their actions when it comes to the net. The best thing about the internet is that it can be shut off. If you see someone in need of help be it from harassment or even themselves, in person or online take a moment of your time and step in. You might end up with a new friend and a saved life.

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post #17 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-16-2012, 04:31 PM
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The Creep Who Tormented Amanda Todd May Have Turned Himself In

No idea the truth to this, but apparently they have a name of the guy now. Could just be bullshit as well.
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post #18 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-16-2012, 04:36 PM Thread Starter
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They have been reporting for the last 24 hrs or so that someone outed the creep. He may have decided to seek asylum. Not a bad decision...

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post #19 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-16-2012, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Donutz View Post
They have been reporting for the last 24 hrs or so that someone outed the creep. He may have decided to seek asylum. Not a bad decision...
Someone who basically sexually assaults a underage girl is no safer in prison than outside of it. Even inmates have honour in that. If he ends up behind bars he is dead within a week.
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post #20 of 47 (permalink) Old 10-16-2012, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Snowolf View Post
It's shit like this that makes me think that the human race should just go fucking extinct! We are a mean, nasty parasitic lifeform that has contributed nothing beneficial to the planet we infest.

As for this fuckstick who stalked her, I would be more than happy to put a 9MM FMJ round from my SIG right between the piece of shit's fucking eyes!

RIP Amanda Todd

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