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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 03:04 PM
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I'm a PE teacher from the UK, grew up playing a decent level of soccer. So I would say by nature I am pretty competitive. My partner is a doctor and we live in NZ now where young doctors are very well paid and in Christchurch teaching jobs are hard to find as a load of the schools fell down.

I found it quite tough at first not working much, but then having extra days surfing and snowboarding soon helped that. I find in both because they aren't team sports I tend to compete with myself rather than worrying about friends or others around me (too much).

In relation to what I think you are getting at, my partner started learning to snowboard last season, I had done 5 weeks in five years of school trips before (all I could afford as free for teachers), she was better than I was after 5 years by the end of her first season by a mile. Luckily I improved a lot also as we had best part of 30 days on the snow, so while 90% of me was happy she fell in love with it and was good, there was a small 10% that was slightly jealous and ego damaged at her picking it up so so quickly. I put it down to my good teaching skills of course
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 03:19 PM
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Surrrrre remember...? Kitesurfing holiday right at the moment?
And I grew up with three older brothers...
Now wait a minute!! ...brothers are a WHOLE different animal than Husbands or BF's!!! Sisters are the ONLY women on the planet where it's perfectly acceptable to tease, torture, embarrass and annoy!

...after pooberty, probably the last woman you'll ever win an argument with as well!!!



My ex was rich!! (...or at least her daddy was!) She & her siblings each had a multi million dollar trust funds. "I" didn't have a problem with it! It wasn't why I was with her in the first place! I paid my own bills! Did my own laundry, mowed the lawn etc. I worked construction 40-50+ hours a week. Only to take home less than a third of what she put in the bank for going to the mailbox once a month!

Most of the time, I didn't mind if she was better at something than I was! It could be a little aggravating if it was something that "I" was really trying to get good at, but I never begrudged her success! I was however an extremely poor loser at Yahtzee!!! (...actually, I only pretended to throw a tantrum! I mean really, Who likes to kick the ass of a gracious loser???? That's No fun!!!!)

...I do miss not having to worry about the bills getting paid ea. month!

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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 03:52 PM
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In a word, insecurity.

People who are comfortable in their own skin are confident and can freely accept that there are some things they are excellent at and other things they don't do so well at. The most competitive people I know are also the most insecure.
Couldn't agree more Snowolf, having moved to NZ they are very competitive sportspeople (is this the PC term?) but so laid back and friendly outside of sport, it is a lovely mix one we haven't quite found in the UK and I would venture to say the States
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 04:01 PM
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I'm not competitive with other people at all, but at the same time choose things that I have an opportunity to excel at.

For example, basketball. I could give a fuck I'm bad at basketball, its stupid shit. On the other hand being good at snowboarding is only for my own benefit, and I don't concern myself with how good I am compared to someone else, I'm concerned with how good I am compared to myself.

Other guys who are really competitive get annoyed with me cuz I don't rise to their BS in sport or work or anything else. I kick all the ass I need to, and when I don't, it's up to me to kick more. Someone elses small mind and abilities have no bearing on what I'm gonna do.

When me and my most consistent snowboarding buddy starting riding alot he would always make comments about being better than me just because he likes to be competitive. Lets just say that that shit went away when it turned out I ride more and talk less.

My wife is much more competitive than I am.

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Last edited by snowklinger; 05-11-2013 at 04:07 PM.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 04:16 PM Thread Starter
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Hm, methinks there's a story behind this thread...
Sure... kind of the story of my life. The story behind it / the reason I'm thin-skinned with this topic are brothers. Grew up with three older brothers and special parents (if you'd need a certificate to be allowed to have children, we'd never exist).
I'm sometimes just so sick of hearing oh yes, you're good at this but only because of blabla. Family would never say anything as nice. Brothers say I'm a lucky dog, I had an easy life, everything just fell into my lap a.s.o.. Oh yes? I grew up in the same circumstances. Sorry for being the first one to run away, being self-dependent that early wasn't very easy! Giving up a good payed but hated job to finally go to university wasn't easy too but a question of priorities. Sorry that you never sorted out your priorities! I don't need their praises, actually I don't care... well, most of the time. I love them and we get along very well but it's a miracle for me that they don't get that it's annoying that they always try to diminish whatever I achieve?
Yes, I know. Grow up and stop moaning

Urrgh... I'm just getting furious when I hear things like oh, girls don't dare to do this / woman have more troubles picking up that. Always makes me think oh yes? I'll show you! Made me do some rather stupid things. Hmmm... guess that's the problem with being stubborn and defiant. Anyway...

Last edited by neni; 04-01-2015 at 10:25 PM.
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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 04:31 PM
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Sure... kind of the story of my life. First intend of the thread really was hubby for all his half-hidden competitions with me. But the story behind it / the reason I'm thin-skinned with this topic are brothers. Grew up with three older brothers and special parents (if you'd need a certificate to be allowed to have children, we'd never exist).
I'm sometimes just so sick of hearing oh yes, you're good at this but only because of blabla (hubby). Family would never say anything as nice as that. Brothers say I'm a lucky dog, I had an easy life, everything just fell into my lap a.s.o.. Oh yes? I grew up in the same circumstances. Sorry for being the first one to run away, being self-dependent that early wasn't very easy! Giving up a good payed but hated job to finally go to university wasn't easy too but a question of priorities. Sorry that you never sorted out your priorities! I don't need their praises, actually I don't care... well, most of the time. I love them and we get along very well but it's a miracle for me that they don't get that it's annoying that they always try to diminish whatever I achieve?
Yes, I know. Grow up and stop moaning

Urrgh... I'm just getting furious when I hear things like oh, girls don't dare to do this / woman have more troubles picking up that. Always makes me think oh yes? I'll show you! Made me do some rather stupid things. Hmmm... guess that's the problem with being stubborn and defiant. Anyway...
Lol shit Neni.....

imo the fact that you let what they say bother you makes you just as competitive as anyone else. My wife is the same way, all that shit super pisses her off.

On the one hand it's cool to use shit people say as an excuse to try harder...but for me that is allowing them to dictate what I'm doing. And if not dictate at least have more say than I'm willing to give.

FUCK EM! Do what you want to do.

...when someone tries to push me in anything, I will usually go find something else to do.

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Last edited by snowklinger; 05-11-2013 at 04:38 PM.
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by neni View Post

Urrgh... I'm just getting furious when I hear things like oh, girls don't dare to do this / woman have more troubles picking up that. Always makes me think oh yes? I'll show you! Made me do some rather stupid things. Hmmm... guess that's the problem with being stubborn and defiant. Anyway...
Neni I don't think you should let the boy girl stuff worry you, its brothers and sisters, its what we do, we have known each other forever and know which buttons to push, and we do because as snowolf says, we are all insecure, a family is a like a dog pack, boys like to be the alpha.

I had a good education, went to a good uni and got a good degree, I hated the good job, London sucked and all I did was work, so quit, went travelling and then became a PE teacher. Have since moved to NZ and I work short days with long holidays, so I surf, snowboard and spend time with my girl and the puppy.

My sister works for Unilever in NYC, earns more money than I can imagine, has just ten days holiday a year, gets a few days a year on the slopes and works 90 hour weeks. She is an amazing sportswomen, excellent skier who picked boarding up in less than a day and runs all the marathons (luckily was in UK for the Boston tragedy)

My point being she is the girl and super successful business woman and super sporty, we both have different lives and different priorities, she loves to wind me up about my lifestyle and me hers?

Who is better off, who cares, long as you are happy
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 05:33 PM
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Originally Posted by AntipodeanSam View Post
Neni I don't think you should let the boy girl stuff worry you...

I had a good education, went to a good uni and got a good degree, I hated the good job, London sucked and all I did was work, so quit, went travelling and then became a PE teacher. Have since moved to NZ and I work short days with long holidays, so I surf, snowboard and spend time with my girl and the puppy.

My sister works for Unilever in NYC...

...we both have different lives and different priorities, she loves to wind me up about my lifestyle and me hers?

Who is better off, who cares, long as you are happy

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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 06:04 PM Thread Starter
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FUCK EM! Do what you want to do.
I wish I had more of this attitude. This will be the next stage I need to reach.

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Originally Posted by AntipodeanSam View Post
Neni I don't think you should let the boy girl stuff worry you, its brothers and sisters, its what we do, we have known each other forever and know which buttons to push, and we do because as snowolf says, we are all insecure, a family is a like a dog pack, boys like to be the alpha.
Yes... true... maybe my failure to expect them to be more grown up being many years older than me but some things might not change by age. I surely know those buttons but would never push them just to tease them.

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Who is better off, who cares, long as you are happy
well, I'm happy, got a close to perfect life, now. But I get pissed anyway! Well yes, it's more a fight against myself than anyone else cause anyone else hardly cares

Last edited by neni; 05-12-2013 at 06:27 AM.
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 08:00 PM
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Myself and another English guy we're in a Zurich restaurant with a few Swiss friends joking around and roaring with laughter. As you do. The whole place was looking at us like we were insane. Don't get me wrong I love the Swiss and Switzerland, they just need to lighten up a little.

As for competitiveness, I try my best to hide it but it can get pretty ugly sometimes.
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