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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 04:10 AM Thread Starter
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What is it with guys and being competitive? Just curious. Are you guys in a competition with your GFs/wifes/sisters? Do you care if she is better in picking up a new sport / has the better job / education / whatever?

Last edited by neni; 05-11-2013 at 02:03 PM. Reason: sisters
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 05:26 AM
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What is it with guys and being competitive? Just curious. Are you guys in a competition with your GFs/wifes? Do you care if she is better in picking up a new sport / has the better job / education / whatever?
I think that the competitive thing starts so early with guys it is engrained in everything we do. Everything is competitive whether it is who starts walking first to who gets better grades, better on the ball field, etc. In my house, everything was competition growing up. We raced at everything. To the bus, to the mailbox, eating, finishing homework, sports, etc.

I have gotten better with age though. I don't compete with my wife over most things. I would be overly joyed if she made more money than me. She did at one point, and I was fine with that.

I struggle with my kids on how much to push them. I was pushed so hard that I don't think it was a good thing. I have the hardest time "letting" them win anything. It goes against everything I know even though it is absolutely stupid. It takes all I have to let my 6 year old beat me at checkers. I'm getting better though. I want them to be competitive but not at all cost like I was/am.

Not sure how it is in Europe, but here in the states everything is just ultra competitive.

I have learned to accept how good I am at certain tasks though. I am more competitive with myself than others at this point. I don't compare myself to others say in snowboarding and running. I just try to best what I have done in the past and try to be happy with that.

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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 05:29 AM
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Originally Posted by neni View Post
What is it with guys and being competitive? Just curious. Are you guys in a competition with your GFs/wifes? Do you care if she is better in picking up a new sport / has the better job / education / whatever?
Yeah, I don't get it either. For years I've been nagging my wife to get established in a career (she has the education for it). But no such luck. I keep telling her I want to be a deadbeat husband... snowboard all winter and lounge around at home in T shirt and boxers all day for the rest of the year. What am I doing wrong?

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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 09:09 AM
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Yeah, I don't get it either. For years I've been nagging my wife to get established in a career (she has the education for it). But no such luck. I keep telling her I want to be a deadbeat husband... snowboard all winter and lounge around at home in T shirt and boxers all day for the rest of the year. What am I doing wrong?
Ditto and I was jealous that she got up surfing and all I did was eat it. She is also so verbally agile and aggressive she should have been a litigator...when we argue all I can do is walk away to the man cave.


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Last edited by wrathfuldeity; 05-11-2013 at 09:12 AM.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 09:45 AM
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Hm, methinks there's a story behind this thread...


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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 11:13 AM
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I think that the competitive thing starts so early with guys it is engrained in everything we do. Everything is competitive whether it is who starts walking first to who gets better grades, better on the ball field, etc. In my house, everything was competition growing up. We raced at everything. To the bus, to the mailbox, eating, finishing homework, sports, etc.
I had to compete with all the older kids in my area if I wanted play on the same sports fields, or skateboard, or just play fucking Dungeons and Dragons.

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I have gotten better with age though. I don't compete with my wife over most things. I would be overly joyed if she made more money than me. She did at one point, and I was fine with that.
I'm different from most dudes, but I'd LOVE my wife to be a millionaire. Billionaire would be even better! Heli boarding 24/7. I have no ego about it, and like anything that will allow me to maximize my time doing the things I like to do: surf, snowboard, read, cook, etc...

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I struggle with my kids on how much to push them. I was pushed so hard that I don't think it was a good thing. I have the hardest time "letting" them win anything. It goes against everything I know even though it is absolutely stupid. It takes all I have to let my 6 year old beat me at checkers. I'm getting better though. I want them to be competitive but not at all cost like I was/am.
My dad never pushed me, but he competed relentlessly with me and always bragged about how he could beat me at this or that (still does at 72). Turns out he was simply competing for my mothers attention. He treated himself like the oldest brother. It disgusted my Mom for her whole life.

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I have learned to accept how good I am at certain tasks though. I am more competitive with myself than others at this point. I don't compare myself to others say in snowboarding and running. I just try to best what I have done in the past and try to be happy with that.
Super hard for me, but also why I focused more on surfing, snowboarding, golf, etc the older I got, rather than the team sports of my youth. It's still been hard not to compare myself to everyone else in the water or on the mountain, but at some stage, you just have to let it go. When I see some 16 year old pull a triple cork (or whatever), I just shake my head and think, "live it up now kid, those joints and muscles and unadulterated balls won't last forever". Still being competitive there in a way!

For a lot of guys, especially in the business/wall street world, competitiveness and money are ultimately a metaphorical big dick contest.

btw BADEN, your avatar is bad ass. I really like that shot.

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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 11:22 AM
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Ditto and I was jealous that she got up surfing and all I did was eat it. She is also so verbally agile and aggressive she should have been a litigator...when we argue all I can do is walk away to the man cave.
Wrath, from what I've seen of your work, I bet you have the ultimate fucking man cave.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 11:49 AM
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When I see some 16 year old pull a triple cork (or whatever), I just shake my head and think, "live it up now kid, those joints and muscles and unadulterated balls won't last forever". Still being competitive there in a way!

btw BADEN, your avatar is bad ass. I really like that shot.
Thanks man.

I guess I do the same thing and never thought about it. I'm still being competitive when I think, "Must be nice to ride 50+ times a season you little mother fucker." Instead of what I should say, "That guy has practiced way more than I have and has honed his skills, that mother fucker."
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 12:20 PM
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The short answer is Biology. The long answer.. I'm too lazy and unmotivated to type.
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-11-2013, 12:34 PM
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I'd so much more than fine with a woman that makes way more than me. In fact, it's my dream. I need a sugar momma! Seriously though, I would have no qualms about being a stay at home dad. Kids are easy to deal with, and I handle stress well. I can admit to having a hard time letting my 8 year old daughter win sometimes though. I guess it's just tricky finding that line where I'm not totally tanking on purpose, and yet I'm going a little easy, since you know, she's my kid and all. Cooperative video games that still give you a "level winner" (like Little Big Planet for the PS3) have actually been helping me with this though.

Oh yeah!? Well, my mom says I'm cool!
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