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Old 02-18-2009, 07:55 PM   #21 (permalink)
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When you have a kid, and haven't well planted your life in one area, then it's time to think about what's best for the child and not your or your wife's wants. If you lived in an area for a good while, and have good connections, that's another story. But in the end, it's about the kid once born, not you or your wife. Keep that the priority.
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Old 02-18-2009, 07:57 PM   #22 (permalink)
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It's nice to hear all of your different views.

I totally agree that it would mostly be just me and the wife with the kids, but my parents are retiring soon and I know my mother would love to spend time with her grandkids. Plus, I'm an only child so my parents are pretty much all I have in direct family.

It's one of those crappy moments in life where you have to make a decision you know involves sacrifices.
With Grandma & Grandpa retiring soon, that means they'll be visiting often and once the kids are old enough you can send them to her for the weekend.

My little one's staying with Mamaw and Poppy for her first sleepover this Friday. I can't wait!! I love the little girl with all my heart, I do! But it sure will be nice knowing the "cock-blocker's" outta the house for the night!
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:10 PM   #23 (permalink)
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When you have a kid, and haven't well planted your life in one area, then it's time to think about what's best for the child and not your or your wife's wants. If you lived in an area for a good while, and have good connections, that's another story. But in the end, it's about the kid once born, not you or your wife. Keep that the priority.
Exactly! And that's a huge reason I want the kids to be around their family. It hurts for me to think about sacrificing some of my hobbies, but how much snowboarding and kayaking am I going to be able to do with kids anyways? Let me put it this way: I have a much easier time giving up the great outdoors for myself than I do giving up my parents seeing their grandkids and vise versa.

Still, we're going to have to talk about it for a while. Even we don't know what our kids would rather have, hehe.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:03 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Funny story. Glad you got out okay :O
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Old 02-19-2009, 02:40 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Exactly! And that's a huge reason I want the kids to be around their family. It hurts for me to think about sacrificing some of my hobbies, but how much snowboarding and kayaking am I going to be able to do with kids anyways? Let me put it this way: I have a much easier time giving up the great outdoors for myself than I do giving up my parents seeing their grandkids and vise versa.

Still, we're going to have to talk about it for a while. Even we don't know what our kids would rather have, hehe.
Ignoring seeing your parents, where do YOU having lived in Indiana think you can raise your child and have a better standard of living? Thats what it should come down too, if your going to be constantly having problems finding work or maintaining a decent lifestyle in either spot you should pick the other one. The entire Portland Metro area has a LOT of high tech possibilities for higher pay work and good schools...i've never lived in Indiana so i cant comment on there you'd know better living there. Hell by the time i was 18 i was already interning at Intel for twice minimum wage...now that im full time employee it only goes up!
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:02 AM   #26 (permalink)
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That is a good point. I would think Indiana has been hit harder by the recession than Oregon. No facts to back this up, so I could be wrong. Having family is nice, but if you don't have a job, you've got bigger problems. Yet another consideration...
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:36 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Things are substantially cheaper in Indiana. A 130k house there is about 300k here. The pay is lower, though. I can work anywhere and my wife shouldn't have a problem getting a job either so that isn't really a concern.

I don't know where the better schools are, but Indy is more crowded and has a higher crime rate. Overall, I would rather raise my kids in Oregon. There is better environmental awareness out here in the form of bike lanes and mass transit.

I don't know. I really appreciate everyone's opinion. We've got time to decide and a lot to talk about. We're going to go to a house buyer's seminar that our bank puts on so we can see if buying a house is even right for us. If it isn't we may HAVE to go back to Indy as we're not going to have kids in a rental because it is too expensive for us. So I guess we'll just see what happens.
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:38 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Just don't slip one by the goalie until you've made up your mind...
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:07 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Flick, pull your ass out of the air and head out of the snow....several things....me being from Nebraska, all my family back there and raising kids away from the grandparents....screw them they don't know what they are missing....here goes:

Where would you rather die! a long slow soul sucking death in Indiana or a fast, funny as fuck, ass in the air death doing something you love?

Bad drivers and tree wells are just a thing in PNW...get used to it...come up 542 to Baker...you are lucky to make it up the hill (last year, 1 morning saw 7 suv's in the ditch..dumbass drivers), then lucky not to die on the hill (yesterday, a skier died inbounds in the "rattrap" area) and finally not to fall asleep at the wheel coming back down the hill (usually have at least one day a year, stuck behind a head on comming back down).

As for raising kids...where at the mall or in some faceless suburbia near a dead manufacturing plant (wonder why the drug addiction and crime). Or on the hill every week where you will get to see them learn how to blow past your saggin ass.

As for grand parents/parents...get them to vacation to manazita, seaside or cannon beach when the weather is good and the tourist are few...get them to imagine long walks on the beach playing in the sand with the grandkids..fuck they are probably secretly tired of Indiana and just need a good excuse...they will want to retire early.

Hopefully your beloved is also reading this thread.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:25 PM   #30 (permalink)
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The wrathfuldeity has spoken.




Awesome post btw...
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