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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 06:23 PM
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Bad Lessons

I'm sure everyone has taught a couple of those, lets hear some snowboard horror stories.
I definitely have a few

I was teaching a lesson, a father and his son who was maybe 10 years old. I tried to get him to side slip and he was having difficulty doing it so I obviously helped him out a bit. He punch me (in the boob...) and said he hated snowboarding, took his board off, and ran from the bunny hill. His father didn't do anything.

I have also taught Napoleon Dynamite Jr. No lie, everytime I would tell this fella to do anything, he would sigh and say 'I don't wanna!' in the same tone of voice as well, Napoleon.

I taught an older woman who skiied for many years and wanted to give snowboarding a try. We were sideslipping and I stood in front of her holding her hands cuz she was so scared to fall. When I asked her to try on her own without my assistance, I would still be infront of her so that she could grab onto me whenever she felt uncomfortable. Instead of grabbing onto my arms, she would grope me. The grope count of that hour long lesson was about 40. No lie.

I also instruct fulltime, and we have elementary schools come in everyday. Some schools would do 1 trip, other schools would do 4. Well, this one school who came 4 times had a boy that had quite the crush on me. I got to spend an hour with him and his other classmates whenever they would come up to the resort. He would ask me my number, my e-mail, my facebook name or whatever. He even asked me out on a date. He would try to put his arm around me on the chairlift, he even tried to serenade me. Oh, and he also gave me a chocolate bar.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 09:21 PM
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Ok so it's my friend's first time snowboarding and I decided I would give him a few pointers, because I'm just that kind of generous, loving guy. First, he has the audacity to embarrass me by falling on his ass as soon as we get off the chairlift, and then trying to take me down with him. The nerve of some people. I kicked him off me with my back foot and skated over to strap in. After waiting at least three minutes for him to stop bitching about his fall and strap in, we started down the run.

Now, my first day I went on a black diamond, so I figured it would be even better for him to start on black or double black. How hard is it to side slip? Not hard, right? Wrong. Takes him three runs to figure out how to side slip on his heelside, and he is too scared to try his toeside. Well, shit. That's not how you snowboard. So after failing to convince him, I just came up behind him and spun him onto his toeside. You know what happened? The asshole fell on me! Needless to say I was pretty pissed off because he chipped my brand new GNU Park Pickle. It was only my second time riding it!

As I rained blows down upon him, I realized: There has to be a better way. So I dumped his ass on the green runs and enjoyed the rest of my day alone.

Never teach friends, they just refuse to cooperate and learn.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 09:47 PM
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Originally Posted by mrpez View Post
Ok so it's my friend's first time snowboarding and I decided I would give him a few pointers, because I'm just that kind of generous, loving guy. First, he has the audacity to embarrass me by falling on his ass as soon as we get off the chairlift, and then trying to take me down with him. The nerve of some people. I kicked him off me with my back foot and skated over to strap in. After waiting at least three minutes for him to stop bitching about his fall and strap in, we started down the run.

Now, my first day I went on a black diamond, so I figured it would be even better for him to start on black or double black. How hard is it to side slip? Not hard, right? Wrong. Takes him three runs to figure out how to side slip on his heelside, and he is too scared to try his toeside. Well, shit. That's not how you snowboard. So after failing to convince him, I just came up behind him and spun him onto his toeside. You know what happened? The asshole fell on me! Needless to say I was pretty pissed off because he chipped my brand new GNU Park Pickle. It was only my second time riding it!

As I rained blows down upon him, I realized: There has to be a better way. So I dumped his ass on the green runs and enjoyed the rest of my day alone.

Never teach friends, they just refuse to cooperate and learn.
... hahaha


(there's an assumption here that you're joking)
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 10:33 PM
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tee hee. We have a saying "friends don't let friends teach friends......"


I agree with snowolf that the unprepared people suck to teach but the I cant's???? The cant's I believe have their own special place in hell I think. I can teach the fat, the stupid, the unmotivated. the motivated. the athletic, the snobs, the smart, the unsure, the scared, the agressive, but the one person I can't tolerate is the won'ts and cant's. Now I must drink thinking of their failures to try becoming mine.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:41 PM
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One of my friends recently taught a ski lesson to a kid who has ADHD as well as tourettes.
'Nuff said
post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-13-2010, 11:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Snowolf View Post

Here is one such class I posted about earlier this year:

http://www.snowboardingforum.com/tip...plit-hell.html
Ps, thats pretty epic! I totally taught a lesson like that this year. I had 42 snowboarders that needed to have a lesson, and about 3 hours to do it. These kids were from gr.6-8. At the end of it, a lot of the kids had a great time, and the more advanced kids actually payed attention and wanted to learn new stuff! It was a pretty bomb day considering most kids at that age think they know everything and that lessons are for losers. At the same time it was the most stressful thing ever! Every couple of minutes I would have a kid come up to me and ask me a question or something and it just got sooo annoying. Also, a lot of the kids I was working with on the bunny hill would just go to the washroom without telling me and I had a large number so I couldn't watch over every single person. And whenever I realized someone was missing, I would just shit bricks and it looked so bad on me but there's really nothing you can do about it.
post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-14-2010, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by mrpez View Post
Never teach friends, they just refuse to cooperate and learn.
Not true in all cases. I taught my girlfriend to snowboard and we are still together. It just takes patience on both sides, which I guess doesn't happen often? Maybe I am just lucky.

edit: I cant take all the credit though. She did watch Snowolf's and Snowprofessor's videos...

Last edited by yusoweird; 03-14-2010 at 11:23 AM.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-14-2010, 03:31 PM
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i learned to ski in tahoe when i was really young. i could do the wedge/pizza and make it down green & blue runs on the tiny rental skis. took the aforementioned lesson on my second day with the hopes of getting better and was berated by the instructor saying i was "slow" and "(too) stupid" to learn. he also berated someone else by telling her "if you really... really try hard. maybe someday you can actually do some of this. seriously think about improving yourself and come back next season. or not at all."

i hated skiing from that point on and swore off snow sports for years.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-14-2010, 08:52 PM
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How I learned to stop teaching

Actually, I still teach friends who want to start...

But I quit "teaching".

I taught beginners on the base where I live for a few years. The average to good students made it a great experience. However, the parents of some kids made it hell.

The final straw? I only had 2 kids in the class (brothers between 10 and 12) and the father hung out with us. Since normally the parents run off, I thought this might be a good sign.

All the kids did was whine. They were obviously not interested in learning or in being in the snow. After the basic stuff, we took the lift up and got ready to go...sort of.

This is the flattest "hill" I've ever seen. The hard part was not getting stuck. However, the kids started screaming. Then, they said they're too cold to go down.

I pointed to the moguls on a nearby run and asked the kids if they knew what caused moguls. When they said no, I explained that those were from kids left on the mountain. I assured them they shouldn't worry...by spring they'd thaw.

I've never taught again.

True story.
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-14-2010, 09:33 PM
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I pointed to the moguls on a nearby run and asked the kids if they knew what caused moguls. When they said no, I explained that those were from kids left on the mountain. I assured them they shouldn't worry...by spring they'd thaw.

I've never taught again.

True story.
ROFLMAO!

That's the funniest teaching story I heard yet...

What was daddy's response to his kids?
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