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Old 09-17-2011, 10:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Life changing decision: looking for advice

Hello all, ive got a big decision approaching in my life, and theres variables that lean me each way on the decision and im just looking for some feedback and possibly different views than mine that might help me decide...

so here it is.....im 28 yrs old, happily married 5 years, with no children. I have a decent job that makes decent pay and a schedule that works GREAT for me and my snowboarding/wakeboarding, and oh yea, the wife works the same schedule as me and LOVES snowboarding/wakeboarding as well... at this point, its no career, just a job that gives me the necessary money to live a pretty fun life, which im fine with...never been an overworker that dedicates my life to working, more just a way to make money and live...i have a mixed schedule with my off days being during the week, which is awesome for snowboarding/wakeboarding for many reasons, mainly being butter water on lake, and no lift lines at mountain. I rarely work 40 hrs, usually around 35, and my job is not very stressfull and fairly easy for me....
this is how its been for about the last 6-8 years, and other than money being a lil tight every now and then, i have no complaints.

and heres the dilemma...

my boss will be leaving my company within the next 90 days, and im next in line to take his spot. If i were to take the promotion that is coming, i would obviously see a nice pay upgrade (around 12-15K more year), but i would also be working about 45-50 hrs a week, mon-fri...and while this schedule is very normal for most people, it would completely turn my life upside down compared to the schedule ive been working for 6-8 years. and the stress/responsibilities of my work would also increase greatly..basically id be the big boss with about 65 people underneath me....


sooooooo, if this was you, what would you do??

stay in a nice easy, cushy job with so so pay and a great schedule for the life i live, and maybe always regret not taking more money to help myself and my wife (possibly family in the future)

or

finally grow up a little, take the promotion, intrude on my snowboarding/wakeboarding, make some good money, prolly have a shitty year until i get used to it all...and maybe in the long run be happy i did...or it could also lead to hating it, having to leave this company all together, and not be sure where ill end up or what my schedule/pay would be at some other job



know its a long post, and know its my life and my decision. just wanted to hear some advice from some older guys or people that were maybe in a similar situation....

if you read it all, thanks, and look forward to your feedback
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Old 09-17-2011, 12:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Contrary to popular American belief, making more money does not necessarily make your life happier/better. I am a firm believer in pursuing what you enjoy and what makes you happy, regardless of what pay it comes with. If you are not struggling to make ends meet, I would suggest sticking with what you've got - because according to you it provides you with the means to be happy.

People end up taking the high-paying high-position job because they think they need it and the money (not because they really enjoy the position), and then 10 years pass and they have a mid-life crisis because they realize they threw away what they loved so they could own more Ikea furniture. (Yes, that reference was from Fight Club)

The material benefits are not worth sacrificing what you love, and the sooner people figure this out the better off they will be.
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Old 09-17-2011, 12:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What is the point of making all that money if you cant do what you love? Wouldn't you rather make a decent amount and live in a place you love and live your passions?

The stress just isn't worth it.



But also, do what is best for YOU and your family. Be careful making life changing decisions based on random people on the internet.
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Truly not an easy question to answer
  • Less skilled employee easier to replace
  • Managment skill, your more marketable if you decide to look into a Career and not just a job
  • Kids in the future, college funds, your retirement etc
  • Home purchase, you didnt say if you rented
  • ability to travel/vacation at other hills or countries to ride

Your life cycle will always be fluid, things you sometimes can't control force you to make decisions and take new paths constantly
I cant ride like many of you but now that my kids are older I can afford to take them riding 1-3 times a week.
SO with all this said I say
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Originally Posted by threej21 View Post
finally grow up a little, take the promotion, intrude on my snowboarding/wakeboarding, make some good money, prolly have a shitty year until i get used to it all...and maybe in the long run be happy i did...
Not to rain on you but was the promotion offered to you??? I know you said you were next in line, but you also expected your boss to stay another 15-20 years. The company may be looking externally without you knowing. Things don't always go as we wish.
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
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well, im not making my decision based on people on the internet, just using this outlet to voice some of my thoughts/concerns and use other peoples thoughts/insight to help me better evaluate the situation..

thanks for your responses and insights though.... i am so on the fence on this decision. i totally agree with you about money not equaling happiness, and i wouldnt necisarily say that im struggling to make ends meet, but i definitly cant afford all the luxories life has to offer and sometimes do struggle paying bills, mainly due to spending money on the things i love like snowboarding.

like i said, i only make decent money, so a 10-12k raise is a pretty hefty one for me and the money i make. And its not that this promotion, if i were to take it, wont allow me to snowboard/wakeboard anymore..it will just effect when and how often ill prolly be able to ride and enjoy it, and will also, at least temporarily effect my quality of life due to completely changing my schedule and my day to day routines..

ahhhhhh!!! just dont know what to do...

on one hand, i really enjoy my life and dont really wanna change anything....except maybe my pay rate

and on the other, it just seems kind of dumb of me to spend 6 years working a middle posistion job, and then turn down the first oppurtunity at a promotion....i dont wanna work the m-f day job gig, i dont necisarily want the added responsibilities of the job, but i do want the money, and again feel weird/stupid turning down an oppurtunity to improve the financial part of my life...


one reason its so hard, is i never expected to have to make this decision at this job..we are a small company and my boss has been here since 1993...all these 6 years i honestly believed my boss would work here for the next 15-20 years untill he retired and that this oppurtunity for a promotion would never come...so i always figured id work here until...well until whenever i decided to leave and find a new venture.
now, its here, and i dont know what the hell to do.....
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slyder View Post
Truly not an easy question to answer
  • Less skilled employee easier to replace
  • Managment skill, your more marketable if you decide to look into a Career and not just a job
  • Kids in the future, college funds, your retirement etc
  • Home purchase, you didnt say if you rented
  • ability to travel/vacation at other hills or countries to ride

Your life cycle will always be fluid, things you sometimes can't control force you to make decisions and take new paths constantly
I cant ride like many of you but now that my kids are older I can afford to take them riding 1-3 times a week.
SO with all this said I say

well before even responding to your post, let me fill in some of the blanks i left out, so maybe you can further help me...

im already in mgmt, been in middle mgmt for 6 years, promotion would be to upper mgmt.

already a home owner, for past 6 years

me and wife are undecided on if/when we will have kids


and while it hasnt been "officially" offered to me, due to my bosses tenure with the company and that he helped take the company where it is, he is picking his replacement on his way out, and has already sat down with me to go over all the ins and outs and what not, and told me that i will be replacing him if i so choose
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Well I still vote for the promotion. Your only 28 and I assume this is a great opportunity and in today's economy or any, they don't come often.
Not sure how much your wife and you have discussed this but maybe it's time to sit down with some of your goals for your future written out and see what path this line would lead you.

I have a guy I worked with that took all the over time our company offered. He and his wife didn't have kids. They enjoyed being world travelers, he's been to places I can't even pronounce. Again maybe for you it's not about the money, but how about the oppurtunity to do things you can't afford to do now. Snowboarding in NZ sounds sweet, not in my budget maybe your new budget???
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Having never been in your position, I can not make this answer for you, but what I can offer is a suggestion. Follow your passions, not your wallet. It's not "growing up" if you take a position of authority, but you truly have no desire for it. Somewhere along the way, Americans lost sight of the "American Dream", which IMO really was to just be able to be happy doing something you enjoy. Now everyone tries to say money will amke you happy and you hould just pusue whatever makes good money. If where you're at now makes you and your wife happy, then I personally see no sense in ruining that happiness with a job that will take away what is keeping you truly happy.

Sorry about the long winded answer, but I really just feel that this pursuit of money instead of hapiness is what has destroyed America. I may work a shitty job right now, but that's only cause it pays for me to pursue my hapiness and my dreams.
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Look at it from a skill-base perspective and what it does for your future. Will it expand your skill set and perhaps let you venture out on your own later? Is it going to be marketable and help you get a job you want later? Or is it just committing to the 40-hour work week slog because you think you should?

Also, based on your experience with your boss, do you think you'd like the job? Beyond just the not riding as much, is it going to keep you reasonably interested and satisfied?

Basically, no amount of money is worth it if you're truly going to hate your life. But some inconvenience and stress now might be worth it if it helps you build the life you want later.
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:59 PM   #10 (permalink)
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couple things....

due to my wife working at the same company as me, i have not yet been able to discuss this with her...that might sound strange to some, but the cats not out of the bag to all employees that the boss is leaving, therefore i am keeping my word to my company that i will not yet discuss this with any other employees, including my wife...

but yes, when i am able, i will be thouroughly discussing this with my wife, which will help me a ton...but is also why im here discussing it, because i have all these thoughts running through my head and no one to discuss it with

as im rolling all this around in my head, i realize it kind of sucks and is kind of stupid, that the main thing holding me back is the change in my schedule. my schedule works soooo PERFECT for the life that i enjoy. i work 2 nights during the week, 2 off days during the week and i work daytime fri, sat, sun...to yall this might not be perfect but for me it is...i have all 4 weekdays to catch amazing water on the lake and way less crowded mountain to board. i also have a great set of friends with similar flexible schedules so we are all able to do these things together on weekdays....and im almost positive none of this would be the same if i was stuck at work all week

hell, if i had been working m-f day all these years, this promotion would be a no brainer...although it will be stressfull, i can totally handle the added responsibilities, just dont wanna work the schedule that comes with it
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